Odds are Against

Last year, I hit a deer on the road to our house (or, more accurately, “the deer hit the car”). Since, then, Pam and I have had about three or four close calls with deer on the road. This morning I had another “close encounter” that was pretty darn close – I had to apply the brakes rather sharply and almost caused the donuts to spill in the car (which would have been a REAL disaster).

I always thought that once you hit a deer the odds go down that you would hit another one anytime soon, like being struck by lightening – once you’re hit the odds should go down that you’re hit again right away.

Apparently, though, once you hit a deer, the odds of hitting a deer increase thereafter. It’s almost like hitting a member of a mob family – they want revenge for the previous hit. So one must constantly be on guard and expect the unexpected.

This got me thinking about some other bookmaking opportunities here on the farmage.

For instance:

The amount of dog poop in the yard is directly proportional to the square of the size of the dog multiplied by the amount of dog food the dog consumes.

The odds of stepping in dog poop in your yard are indirectly proportional to the care taken to avoid dog poop in your yard, and directly proportional to the quality of shoes one is wearing.

And last but certainly not least . . .

The odds of contacting a pile of fresh mushy dog poop with a gasoline powered weed wacker is indirectly proportional to the amount of safety equipment the operator is wearing.

Well, OK, wearing safety glasses and a dust mask when operating a gasoline powered weed eater in a dog kennel won’t necessarily help you beat the odds, but can make the experience a bit less traumatic.