. . . and a middle-aged woman’s fancy turns to some obscene obsession concerning chores and renovation.
Over the weekend, Nana Pam and I planted our garden. That wasn’t too bad.
But, yesterday, although we’re still working on the kitchen, Nana Pam got a wild hair up her butt and a crowbar in her hand and began to semi-demolish the gazebo.
Now, at this point I suppose I should explain what I mean by “semi-demolish” - - You see, when Nana Pam and I start a project on an existing structure, we carefully plan the project so that much of the original architecture can be preserved and cherished with the goal of doing as little work as possible and saving as much money as possible . . .
. . . At least that’s how I think. Nana Pam has a slightly different viewpoint. Unless I’m with her, she generally starts the demolition phase of a project prior to the planning phase and well ahead of the “coordinate-with-Grumpa” phase. I’ve pretty much developed the theory that Nana Pam starts demolition with the thought that I will get annoyed with how she’s going about it and will take over and “git ‘er dun”, so to speak.
And generally, the tactic works, so my theory is pretty much substantiated.
But, I digress.
The gazebo has been in need of renovation since we first moved in. The concrete pad is sound, but the lattice work was ugly, the railings were flimsy and the strength of the support posts was compromised because they had all been cut half way through, apparently in an abandoned effort to install decorative banisters. A new roof had been installed prior to our acquisition, but water damage to the decking had not been properly repaired.
And so, with confidence Nana Pam sallied forth and tore down the ugly lattice work and the flimsy railing – and only then discovered that it was the lattice work and the railing that gave a level of stability to the structure (I did mention that the support posts had been cut half through, didn’t I?).
With the lattice work and the railings gone, the structure actually looked a lot better. But, we did notice that now the whole thing was swaying and rocking in the wind. Now, I’m not a structural engineer, but I have common sense, and I knew that the spring winds in Oklahoma do not like to be ignored and that something had to be done about the support posts.
We knew that the rational thing to do was to completely demolish the entire structure and build a brand new gazebo on the site. And this being the rational thing to do, we decided not to do it. Instead, counting the costs of a new gazebo, we decided to just replace the 4-by-4 posts with 4-by-6 posts and then to add the decorative railings and banisters that Nana Pam showed me from a picture in a magazine.
Nana Pam wanted to remove the existing posts all at once while supporting the roof with some sort of unspecified hoist system, and then somehow lower the roof back onto the new posts with the still unspecified hoist system. Needless to say, I overruled this plan, thinking it more practical to install a temporary support beam near each existing post and then remove and replace the posts one at a time. Thus, before leaving for work this morning, I hid the key to the workshop denying Nana Pam access to any saws and other demolition equipment so she could not put her plan into motion while I was away.
Returning from work, I brought a couple hundred dollars worth of materials home with me to “git ‘er dun”, so to speak. And yesterday, I “got ‘er dun”, jacking up the roof at strategic points and cutting the existing posts away with a reciprocating saw and installing new solid posts anchored to the concrete and expertly fastened to the existing roof beams.
We have now the beginnings of what will look like a brand new gazebo.
Another Danger Lane Workshop project successfully started . . . and awaiting completion while Nana Pam thinks of other projects with which to distract me.
