Wittle Gway Wabbits

I am not as concerned about the rabbits in the garden as I am about the deer and raccoons – and birds, and turkey vultures, and hawks, and coyotes, and possums, and skunks, and potato bugs, and termites, and squirrels, and moles, and gophers, and snakes. In fact, it is safe to declare that the rabbits are by far the least of my problems.

But, the furry little creatures have found ways of getting into my fenced-in garden. I’ve tried to plug all the holes in the fence, but they keep getting in there. I don’t think they’re intelligent enough to physically open the gate – and I don’t think they are big enough to do so. But, somehow, they get in, as evidenced by the little teeth marks they leave behind on the low hanging tomatoes and other veggies. It just galls me to see these little nibble marks – it wouldn’t bother me so much if they would eat up an entire tomato or cucumber instead of going from plant to plant test-tasting like an AARP member at a buffet.

A few nights ago, Nana Pam and I were finishing up our evening chores and came upon Bailey da Hound Dawg reclining in the grass. In the dwindling light, we noticed that he was unduly interested in a grayish-brown blob, which turned out to be a wittle gway wabbit, thoroughly chewed and covered with dog slobbers and quite dead, apparently a victim of Bailey’s over-exuberant style of playfulness. How he caught the animal is beyond my comprehension – he must have used a trap, because even though he’s pretty fast, I really don’t believe he’s fast enough to catch a wabbit.

I fully expected Nana Pam’s reaction to be one of horror, filled with tears and remorse and a desire to take the carcass to the emergency veterinarian in the remote chance that there might be some miracle cure for the near-decapitation that Bailey had inflicted. But, I guess living in the country has changed Nana Pam a bit more than I thought it would. After her initial surprise, she scolded Bailey with the words, “Bailey, that’s gross. At least drag it into the woods and bury it, for pete’s sake. No cookie for you.”

(Note: Whenever Bailey does something that Nana Pam likes, she gives him dog biscuit, which she calls a “cookie”. He gets a “cookie” for delivering the newspaper intact to the porch, for not terrorizing the chickens, for pooping in the north field instead of next to the car, for not digging in the flower gardens, and for leaving Petey the Weiner Dog alone. Under these criteria, Bailey really doesn’t deserve many “cookies”, but Nana Pam gives him some anyway.)

Needless to say, Bailey ignored Nana Pam and did not drag the wittle gway wabbit carcass into the woods, nor did he bury it. So, Nana Pam continued with her chores and gave me an additional chore, namely, to “get rid of that.”

Have you ever read Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men”? If you haven’t, read it sometime, or see the movie with John Malkovich and Gary Sinise. It’s a good story. And it will give you some idea of the relationship I share with Bailey da Hound Dawg. And it will serve as a reminder to you to guard yourself against Bailey’s playfulness upon your visit to the farmage. The end of the story also explains just why Bailey may “disappear” after a particularly frustrating day of mayhem.

We have a new door . . .

Nana Pam has been holding onto a few hundred dollars (cash) for over a year now to buy a new door for the house. During that time, she has researched and dreamed and admired various doors, planning for the time when she would find the right door.

She decided upon a steel clad door with a nice rectangular window for the same price as the money she had been holding onto. But, as is normal for Nana Pam and cash money, it was just last week that she had spent the remaining cash that she had been holding onto for the past year.

According to Nana Pam, the money just sort of “went away” into thin air.

But, that’s OK, she explained - the money would have gone into our general household fund anyway to be spent as needed for the maintenance of the property and to provide for the cooperative welfare of the occupants, namely us, so it really makes no difference if the surplus is now gone and that the cost of the new door must now come out of our general household budget.

With logic like this, Nana Pam should apply for work with the Obama administration helping to manage the national debt.



I really don’t know why we needed another door, anyway. The old one seemed just fine to me. It looked a bit rustic, but I thought that was the “look” we were going for when we first decided to move out here with the other rustics. Sure, it did have those small little cracks in it, but that facilitated the movement of fresh air into the house. And it did still have that cool door knocker with the previous owner’s name engraved on it. And it did have that wonderful storm door that gave me constant practice in finding new ways to keep it from flying off the house during those “rare” windstorms here in Oklahoma.

But, I digress.

We bought the new door and hauled it to the farmage. We considered having a professional install it, but due to inflation, unmandated federal fees, state and city taxes and all sorts of other hidden costs, we found out that we were going to have pay more to have the silly thing installed than it cost to buy it.

So, like every good do-it-yourselfers, Nana Pam and I installed the door ourselves, saving a coupled of hundred dollars that would normally have come out of the general household fund to be spent as needed for the maintenance of the property and to provide for the cooperative welfare of the occupants, namely us.

As usual, we spent more time in the demolition work ripping the old door out and preparing the opening than we did in actually installing the door.



Piece of cake. A bit of shimming and insulating and caulking and the new door was ready for hardware in a couple of hours. The hardware, by the way, has been in storage in Danger Lane Workshop for two full years now, having been purchased by Nana Pam in anticipation when she would get her new door. Other items waiting proper disposition in Danger Lane Workshop are a kitchen sink, a bathroom sink, entry way lighting, parts for a radio controlled airplane, parts for a Number 3 Ingersoll milling machine, and a few parts from an obsolete Air Force missile system (legally appropriated, of course). Yessiree, Nana Pam and I are pretty much ready for any contingency up to and including converting the house into a hangar for an unmanned aerial weapons delivery system to defend against pesky home-invaders in the off-chance they first get past Bailey da Hound Dawg.

Of course, that particular renovation project will have to come AFTER we get the kitchen finished.

Been Busy . . .

Too busy to make regular updates to this blog.

But, here is a short note to verify that we have not been lazy and sitting on our hands.

Since March, besides working our “day jobs” and being confronted by numerous spring weather challenges, and tending to the yard work and the gardens, we have vigorously engaged in home renovation.

In the kitchen, we have finished the pantry and have installed the entry door woodwork. We started assembling the shelves above the freezer and were getting things ready to install the baseboards and crown molding in the kitchen . . .

. . . but got side-tracked and started working in the dining room.

We ripped up the carpeting in the dining room and tore out the old baseboard and molding around the windows, then started painting the room. After that, we installed the new window and door moldings and began laying the new flooring. This progressed well until we encountered the entry way . . .

. . . whereupon we got side-tracked and began ripping out the old tile flooring in the entry way to begin installing the new flooring there, figuring we could get back to the dining room to finish installing the baseboard and crown molding sooner or later.

In the entry way, we found two layers of tile, the bottom layer even uglier than the top, so with great care we began removing the old tile – RIIIIIIGHT . . . if dynamite had been available, Nana Pam would have used it with gusto.

After spending a full day just getting the tile up and the old baseboard removed, we were finally able to lay the new flooring in the entryway . . .

. . . and got side-tracked and decided to go ahead and rip the carpet and old woodwork out of the south end of the living room and began installing the new flooring there too. Oh, and by the way, Nana Pam also decided the living room needed a new coat of paint.

Now, at this point, you need to understand two things about how Nana Pam and I work together. First, we may fight and fume at each other on a normal average day, but we really do work well as a team and are happy together while on a DIY home renovation project. And second, during home renovation projects, we still like having our stuff around us. So, try to imagine us putting down new flooring and new woodwork and painting walls while our furniture is still in the house being shifted from space to space as the space becomes available.

Hey, it’s just how we do things, OK?

OK, where was I? Oh, yeah, in the living room.

After shifting the furniture as required, we finally got the floor down – at least in most of the living room, until we ran into the entry to the kitchen. At this point, we found that we not only wanted to continue the flooring into the kitchen, but realized that we HAD to proceed into the kitchen in order to finish laying the floor in the living room. The type of flooring we were laying required a certain technique in order to not have a seam in the middle of the floor. (Confused? Come over sometime and I’ll be glad to demonstrate. Bring a paint brush.)

So we got side-tracked and began ripping up the “beautiful” blue tile in the kitchen, only to find, just as we did in the entry way, a second layer of tile beneath. This time, however, we had acquired a new tool, namely, a heat gun, which helped loosen the tile and made removal much easier.

To make a long story a bit longer, we finally got the old tile and all of the old carpeting out of the house and all the new flooring down throughout the entire bottom floor of our home. Within a few days, we also cut, primed, painted, and installed the new woodwork in the living room, thanks to some great help from our good friend, Charles Bitzer, without whose help the task would have been impossible. He was amply rewarded with a pork-steak lunch, some fresh veggies from the garden, and a mention in this blog . . . so, we’re even.

So, we are now finished with the renovation – except for a few paint touch-ups in the living room . . .

. . . And completing the entry way. . .

. . . And installing the woodwork in the dining room and putting the furniture back . . .

. . . And finishing up the kitchen baseboard --- and cabinets --- and countertops --- and kitchen island . . .

. . . And the complete make-over of the utility room and bathroom.

Other than that, we are practically done.

I guess then to keep our marriage happy we should start doing the second floor . . . .