Jackson Danger, Incident Report, Day Four(?)

Jackson made a short little road trip today to Seminole, OK, to visit the Jasmine Moran Children's Museum. Now that was a nice little museum. It's a hands-on adventure experience for kids. Jackson in fact was a bit young to get the most out of the experience, but he thoroughly enjoyed it nonetheless.

Jackson especially liked the shopping experience and the thin hemispherical gas-filled liquid soap film exhibition.

Ok, so, I enjoyed it too, so what? Every grandparent likes to blow bubbles with their grandkid - or at least they should.

Some of them even like to BE IN a bubble with their grandkid.

The only real incident to report today is Jackson's obessive compulsive disorder. The day before yesterday he fed the last of the carrots to Joe the Horse, and ever since then Jackson has reminded us at ever opportunity that we simply MUST get some more carrots for Joe. At the museum today, Jackson took his turn at the grocery store experience and went directly to the produce area and filled a shopping cart with carrots for Joe.

Later, when Nana returned from a shopping trip to a real store this afternoon, Jackson questioned her about the carrots. Nana told him that yes, she had remembered to pick up some carrots for Joe. Jackson replied, "I wanna see 'em," and made Nana show him the carrots before he was satisfied.


So, I conclude that Jackson is far too overly concerned with the mundane circumstances of life and that he is too much like his mother (who, by the way, is too much like her father).


Makes me so proud.

Jackson Danger, Incident Report, Day . . . whatever

Jackson is beginning to feel right at home with Nana and me - and we wonder if that is a good thing.

The day began like every other day with Jackson, i.e. with the single word, "CHICKENS". For some reason, the little guy simply loves visiting the CHICKENS. And he wants to go out and see the CHICKENS first thing every morning, even before getting breakfast.



Now, for him, this is great, but I'm a coffee person and I don't function well without my first (and second and third) cup of coffee. While Jackson is visiting us, I may have to set up the coffee maker to brew my coffee automatically (like I must when I'm NOT on vacation from work) because I sure ain't gettin' much of a chance to do so manually when I'm dragged out to see the CHICKENS first thing every morning.

Jackson did have one incident this afternoon that quite disturbed Nana Pam. Once, while in the process of getting his diaper changed, Jackson declared, "I wanna see Joe!"and, escaping the grasp of Nana Pam, rushed out the back door and ran toward Joe the Horse with Nana Pam in hot pursuit yelling for Jackson to get his naked butt back in the house.

Hey, Jackson, you forgot your boots!

We didn't think we were at this point yet, but we found out that Jackson Danger is now capable of outrunning Nana Pam.

Jackson Danger, Day Three (or Four, I can't remember)

All is well with Jackson Danger and there are no incidents to report - at least Jackson has nothing to report even if Poppa and Nana could write the proverbial book.

There has been little progress on producing a "bubbub-free" Jackson, and just as much non-progress on pottie-training.



Nana and I have picked up were we left off thirty-some-odd years ago with pretending we don't smell something and telling the child to "go hug Nana" or "Poppa wants you" or whatever it takes avoid the issue at hand.

Jackson went to the State Fair yesterday and witnessed a goat birth, chickens hatching, and a cow judging. I think the chickens hatching was a bit traumatic for little Jackson - he didn't quite seem the same while gathering eggs at the Farmage later that day.

There are many more things to report, but it's already 10:02am Wednesday morning and I'm tired, and it's time to start duct-taping little Jackson to his chair so Nana and I can get our morning nap.

But, first, we have to pick up some money . . .

Jackson Danger Incident Report, Day Two

Jackson had a very productive day, but he is beginning to show signs of being in a rut. First, he fed the chickens, then talked to Joe the Horse and greeted the cows in the next field. Then he ensured that all was well within Danger Land Workshop. And all this before breakfast.




We had fresh farmage eggs for breakfast along with bacon. Then went outside and did it all over again, only in reverse order. Only by now, there were some eggs within the chicken coop and Jackson collected and helped clean the eggs.

He had a nice long nap this afternoon and we all had a very relaxing evening before bath and bedtime.

Jackson Danger, Day One Incident Report

Most of the day was spent traveling from Lenexa, KS, to the Farmage in Newalla, OK. Jackson did quite well traveling in the truck and made the comment that visibility was excellent, being able to clearly see the cows and horses in fields rushing past as we careened through Kansas.

We did have one slight incident involving Elmo. Seems that Elmo had a propensity for biting Jackson's fingers, and Nana Pam had to repeatedly chastise Elmo and put him in the front of the truck for a time out. Nana kept telling Elmo that we don't hit other people, we dont' poke other people, and above all we don't eat other people. At one point, after one of Elmo's frequent time outs, Jackson began biting Elmo's bugged eyes. Nana started to chastise Jackson, but then realized that Elmo was a muppet and not a people, so through a technical loophole, Jackson was allowed to eat Elmo eventhough Elmo was not allowed to eat Jackson.

After a thorough count to ensure all of Jackson's fingers were still attached, Elmo was remanded to permanent timeout for the remainder of the trip and the timeout continued upon reaching the Farmage.

We got to the Farmage around 6:00pm this evening and Jackson went right to work: First, he fed Joe the Horse a couple of carrots, then said "hello" to the new cows next door. Then he hurried to feed some crumbles to the chickens and helped gather the eggs from the day's output. He met the neighbor lady and petted the cat Abby and said "goodbye" to the cows. As the sun set slowly in the west, Jackson decided it was time to go inside and take a bath and go to bed, which he did precisely at 8:15pm.

A bit of weather after the end of the world . . .

Well, we survived the end of the erroneously scheduled end of the world (May 21, 2011), and we barely survived the tornado outbreak of today.

I left work early because Nana Pam was a bit worried. When I got home and started tracking the storms on the internet, I got a bit worried, too. We watched the news, which today was wall-to-wall coverage of the tornado outbreak. Via local channel 4, we witnessed the tornados that hit Chickasaw, El Reno, Goldsby, and the Hinton area, feeling concern and empathy for those affected. But, when we saw two tornados forming south-west of home and getting stronger, we realized two things: 1) Hey, Newalla is directly in the path of these two F4 tornados; and 2) Hey hey, we don’t have a storm shelter.

Upon these realizations, Nana Pam and I decided to do the only rational thing available to us – WE GOT OUTTA TOWN.

We quickly tossed some important items into the truck and evacuated to Shawnee. But, within an hour, we heard reports on the radio that a tornado was approaching that fair city. So, we decided to head south and further east and ended up in Seminole. But, within 30 minutes of our arrival, a tornado formed to the south-west threatening that town as well.

Because all of the storms were tracking north and east we didn’t want to go back north until the first storms moved further east. So, we headed further south, going through Ada before turning west to head back home. And wouldn’t you know it, within minutes after making the turn to the west, Ada was hit by a small tornado.

Now, if all this sounds a bit fabricated, I assure you, dear reader, that it is not. The outbreak stretched from the northern border of the state all the way into Texas. I began to think we were in a remake of the movie “Twister”. There just seemed no way for us to completely avoid encountering wicked weather.

Tornados seemed to be the state hobby for the day.

When we got home and found it still standing, we breathed a sigh of relief. We immediately turned on the news to watch the reports of devastation across the state. Only then did we learn that one of the F4 tornados missed our humble little house by less than a mile.

We had a very close call today. And we think it’s time to consider building an actual storm shelter instead of relying on the “safety” of the little cubby-hole under the stairs.

At least a storm shelter could store potatoes after “harvest” season and between the seasons of “wildfire” and “tornado”.

Spring 2011

Ah, spring . . . when a young man’s fancy turns to love . . .

. . . and a middle-aged woman’s fancy turns to some obscene obsession concerning chores and renovation.

Over the weekend, Nana Pam and I planted our garden. That wasn’t too bad.

But, yesterday, although we’re still working on the kitchen, Nana Pam got a wild hair up her butt and a crowbar in her hand and began to semi-demolish the gazebo.

Now, at this point I suppose I should explain what I mean by “semi-demolish” - - You see, when Nana Pam and I start a project on an existing structure, we carefully plan the project so that much of the original architecture can be preserved and cherished with the goal of doing as little work as possible and saving as much money as possible . . .



. . . At least that’s how I think. Nana Pam has a slightly different viewpoint. Unless I’m with her, she generally starts the demolition phase of a project prior to the planning phase and well ahead of the “coordinate-with-Grumpa” phase. I’ve pretty much developed the theory that Nana Pam starts demolition with the thought that I will get annoyed with how she’s going about it and will take over and “git ‘er dun”, so to speak.

And generally, the tactic works, so my theory is pretty much substantiated.

But, I digress.

The gazebo has been in need of renovation since we first moved in. The concrete pad is sound, but the lattice work was ugly, the railings were flimsy and the strength of the support posts was compromised because they had all been cut half way through, apparently in an abandoned effort to install decorative banisters. A new roof had been installed prior to our acquisition, but water damage to the decking had not been properly repaired.




And so, with confidence Nana Pam sallied forth and tore down the ugly lattice work and the flimsy railing – and only then discovered that it was the lattice work and the railing that gave a level of stability to the structure (I did mention that the support posts had been cut half through, didn’t I?).

With the lattice work and the railings gone, the structure actually looked a lot better. But, we did notice that now the whole thing was swaying and rocking in the wind. Now, I’m not a structural engineer, but I have common sense, and I knew that the spring winds in Oklahoma do not like to be ignored and that something had to be done about the support posts.

We knew that the rational thing to do was to completely demolish the entire structure and build a brand new gazebo on the site. And this being the rational thing to do, we decided not to do it. Instead, counting the costs of a new gazebo, we decided to just replace the 4-by-4 posts with 4-by-6 posts and then to add the decorative railings and banisters that Nana Pam showed me from a picture in a magazine.

Nana Pam wanted to remove the existing posts all at once while supporting the roof with some sort of unspecified hoist system, and then somehow lower the roof back onto the new posts with the still unspecified hoist system. Needless to say, I overruled this plan, thinking it more practical to install a temporary support beam near each existing post and then remove and replace the posts one at a time. Thus, before leaving for work this morning, I hid the key to the workshop denying Nana Pam access to any saws and other demolition equipment so she could not put her plan into motion while I was away.

Returning from work, I brought a couple hundred dollars worth of materials home with me to “git ‘er dun”, so to speak. And yesterday, I “got ‘er dun”, jacking up the roof at strategic points and cutting the existing posts away with a reciprocating saw and installing new solid posts anchored to the concrete and expertly fastened to the existing roof beams.

We have now the beginnings of what will look like a brand new gazebo.

Another Danger Lane Workshop project successfully started . . . and awaiting completion while Nana Pam thinks of other projects with which to distract me.

A bit of renovation news . . .

Just a quick note to give you the opportunity to judge the progress in the kitchen. the place is still messy and the cabinet drawers are not yet installed, but the new countertop and sink is in along with the open shelving that Nana Pam wanted.

I passed the bar . . .

. . . of course, I pass this bar on my way home from work every day.

This little red-neck-looking place is just up the road from our house and lends an air of rustic sophistication to the otherwise drab Oklahoma landscape. There are other bars nearby, but this is the closest.

Nana Pam has been wanting to visit the place and promised to let me know what it’s like. I figured letting her go in there alone would be a safe play, because if I was with her and she was “hit on”, I would be expected to protect her honor – and subsequently I might get hurt. But, if she wanders alone into a bar full of obnoxious biker dudes, then my safety would be assured by my obvious absence. Besides, Nana Pam likes to taunt biker dudes and is usually only hindered from doing so by my restraining influence. So, if I’m not with her, she could engage in one of her favorite hobbies (i.e. “bar brawling with bikers”) and I wouldn’t be bothered with the constant worry of having to keep her out of trouble after she’s had one or two rum and cokes.

Since we’ve moved out into the country, Nana Pam has been more and more attracted to social networking. Besides “The Bar”, there are plenty of other social networking sites in the local area, such as “the Office”, the “Midway Club”, “Da Bomb”, and “Randy’s Frog Pond”. So far I’ve done well keeping Nana Pam from frequenting these places by letting her log into internet social networking sites like “facebook”, which has turned out to be a bit safer. And unlike when she is out and about to these other social networking sites, Nana Pam (a.k.a “the Rum Hound”) doesn’t always have a drink in her hand when she’s on “facebook”, so it’s also less expensive.

Thus, with Nana Pam on the computer chatting with “the Jimmys” and other friends, I worry less about potential lawsuits from irate biker dudes whom have been insulted or molested by Nana Pam at a local biker bar. A win-win situation.