Old Year Resolutions

The home renovation was put on hold during the year 2013 so we could concentrate efforts on various other projects needed around the farmage. In order of accomplishment, here are the four major projects we finished during the year:

1. Nana Pam's Chicken Fortress. Originally, this project was undertaken in order to provide more efficient use of space for the chickens. To build this extension to the existing shed, we first removed the existing chain link fence surrounding the original chicken run. We then built a new and improved chicken run designed to provide a safe and secure enclosure for the chickens and to house outdoor equipment. The structure was meticulously built to redneck specifications using 4x4 support posts, and has been further improved with a rain-water collection system and solar-charged electrical system. The first chickens put into the enclosure met with an untimely end, i.e., they were "offed" by a family of racoons. We reinforced the enclosure and recruited more chickens to man the fortress - but within a month these chickens were also decimated by either the same family of racoons or a different clan of racoons that had learned how to break-and-enter using tools. We AGAIN reinforced the enclosure, and AGAIN recruited more chickens, and this time we renamed the chicken run "Nana Pam's Chicken Fortress" in an attempt to intimidate and discourage further invasions. Nana Pam suggested the installation of an electrified fence with alarm system and that we hire an armed militia force with automatic weapons to provide additional security. After careful consideration I rejected that idea - having fresh eggs is nice, but I don't think the cost would be justified.

2. Danger Lane Entrance Gate and Dog Escape Prevention System. This was one of our essential tasks. Originally, the property had a relatively secure steel gate (which you can still see from the street view of google earth). But, since we moved in, there have been a number of wind storms and close encounters by tornados that virtually destroyed the gates. Also, after the purchase of a small camper, we realized that it was no longer safe to wait in the street while the gate was wrestled open. ALSO, we acquired two new dogs that required a safe enclosure that keeps them from the street and protects them from the local rednecks driving by. All of these reasons combined to encourage us to build a new gate. We designed and built a recessed gate that allows us to safely park in our own drive out of the street while the gate automatically opens via remote control while protecting our dogs from passing vehicles (as well as protecting any passing pedestrians from our dogs).

3. Nana Pam's Green House. We had been wanting to put in a green house since moving into the place. We found one as a kit that was an all-aluminum frame with polycarbonate panels (for less price than we thought we deserved). The thing was delivered in a fairly good sized box and we had to transport the unassembled greenhouse in pieces from the front of the house to the rear of the garden. Putting it together was like putting together a great big 3-dimensional jigsaw puzzle, but we are extremely happy with the result. We have since had a couple of wind storms with 40 mph gusts and the thing held up just fine. Now, besides the garden, we have an additional place from which plants can be properly neglected during growing season.

4. Danger Lane Workshop Loft Access and Observation Deck. This was probably the most needed of our projects. The original stairs to the loft were rotted and about to fall down - in fact, the previous structure was quite hazardous. In the process of tearing down the old stairs, I found that the barn's rim joist had also been damaged by rot. Thus, the first step after tearing the stairs down was to repair the barn's rim joist. This added time to the entire project and I was on a deadline - Nana Pam insisted that she have access to the loft by Thanksgiving in order to retrieve the Christmas decorations. This deadline was met, but just barely - the stairs were not installed until the day before Thanksgiving and only with help from Robbie the Robot, the son-in-law and father to Jackson Danger, who turns out to be not only a superb graphics artist but a good woodworking assistant to boot.

All in all, it was a productive year and we can now begin 2014 with thoughts of renovating the second-story of our humble home.

Oh, boy. Can't wait. Looking forward to it. Blah, blah, blah.

Happy New Year.