Newalla, almost in the country, always in the city

Technically, Newalla, OK, is within the city limits of Oklahoma City.

If you look at a map of Oklahoma City, you will notice a "finger" stretching into the southeast and touching the Pottawatomie county line. This far southeastern hinterlands of Oklahoma City is Newalla. We heard how this area became part of Oklahoma City from a local resident of Newalla, who claims to have been born here and to have lived here all his life (I use the word "claimed" because, after seeing this town, I find it difficult to believe that anyone would admit to such a thing). The story goes that there was some noise coming out of the Oklahoma City city council to expand toward the east and swallow up the rural residency, including the unincorporated towns of Choctaw and Harrah. After hearing this, the citizens of Newalla, all 34 of them, gathered for an emergency session to plan for a fight against this tyrannical takeover by "big city government". But, that very night, word got back to Oklahoma City city council members and they called an emergency session of their own and annexed the township of Newalla on the spot.

At least, that's the semi-official version of the story. The following is a compilation of some additional facts I made up - I mean, I dug up.

The real story has to do with power and corruption, just like most stories involving politics.

But first, some historical context: There was an incident that took place right after statehood that resulted in a not-so-friendly feud between two cities of the new state. In the beginning, the city of Guthrie was the original state capitol. But, one night, a group of citizens from Oklahoma City raided the Guthrie city hall and absconded with the state seal, took it to Oklahoma City and made an announcement that Oklahoma City is now the state capitol.

Now, when I first heard this, it seemed to me that a mere criminal act would not be the determining factor as to which city was the state capitol. But, in the minds of Oklahomans this logic makes perfect sense, for apparently very few people across the state complained about it. Even the Guthrie citizenry didn't seem to want to do much about it. A prominent Guthrian at the time was quoted in an interview: "Well, OK, if they got the seal then I guess it's OK for them to be the state capitol, but, goshdurnit, we still got all these state records on file here and, dagumit, I reckon we gotta fedex 'em to Oklahoma City or they'll be hell to pay, dagnabit."

Jump ahead in time a few decades and we come to the REAL reason why Newalla was annexed. I may have my facts mixed up a bit, but it seems Oklahoma City annexed Newalla simply to preserve the status of the city as the state capitol. Apparently, the Newalla city council's true motives for fighting against annexation had to do with a secret plan to sneak into the state capitol and bring the state seal back to Newalla and proclaim Newalla as the new state capitol.

Hey, if it worked once, it should work again, right?

Little did the council realize, however, unnoticed in the back of the room sat a representative of Oklahoma City, who brought back the disturbing news of the attempted coup. That night in emergency session, the Oklahoma City city council voted unanimously to annex the township of Newalla into their fond embrace.

It's politically difficult to proclaim your city as the new state capitol when your city already is the state capitol, so once the annexation took place the citizens of Newalla didn't have a prosthetic limb to balance thereupon. The citizens of Newalla fussed and fumed, but in the end, like the citizens of Guthrie a hundred years ago, resigned quickly to their defeat. Said one prominent citizen, "Well, OK, if they want to keep the dadblamed seal in Oklahoma City - I mean in town - I mean in the city of which we are now a part - then I guess we ain't got a leg to stand on, wooden or otherwise. Besides, we'd just have to store all those state records after they fedex'ed 'em to us anyway, goshdurnit."

Historical evidence abounds that the annexation of Newalla was motivated by something far more nefarious than mere desire to expand the city's boundaries, but at least the story doesn't contain any mention of a sex/drug scandal (there are a couple of pharmacies nearby, but I’m hard pressed to find any evidence of sex in this town, scandalous or otherwise). Newalla still retains its Post Office and the local addresses still reflect a zip code unique for "Newalla, OK". The city of Oklahoma City does provide trash pickup services, but has displayed no intention of servicing the Newalla area with city water and city sewage or other services like street repair and sidewalks. Most commercial companies, like phone service, electrical service, and cable TV services, available in Oklahoma City proper have no intention of hawking their wares in Newalla - as one service representative (who was evidently being recorded for training purposes) tactfully told me, "We'll be in Newalla when Newalla is as big as Edmond" - i.e. about 70,000 population. So, considering our present rate of growth, cable TV will be with the colonists on Mars before I can send my poop through city sewer lines. My property taxes go to Harrah Schools, which hasn't been annexed into Oklahoma City because the citizenry there have expressed their intent to defend against such a move as if it was an armed invasion. Newalla is still pretty much a rural area and I do believe that most Oklahoma City council members don't know that Newalla township is older even than Oklahoma City.

These are just a few things that indicate the city of Oklahoma City has no real interest in making Newalla a real part of the city culture.

But, from my point of view, it doesn't really matter if Newalla is incorporated or unincorporated. I like the trash pickup service provided by Oklahoma City, and I don't mind not having city water or city sewage. I grew up in southeast Missouri on a place that used well water and had a septic system, so it's no big deal for me to relive that experience. What I don't like is the idea of having to get a permit for anything I may want to do on my own property. And this makes me, as a law abiding citizen, feel somewhat guilty if I pee in my own compost heap. On the other hand, Pam doesn't appreciate me peeing in the compost heap so she is all in favor of the City telling me I can't do that. And she still can't get her head wrapped around the concept that we are literally expelling our sewage into an underground tank just outside the back door. To her, that's worse than Bailey da Hound Dog dumping his load in the open field. And don’t get me started about what it took to convince her that our well was not somehow connected to the septic.

But, I digress.

By and large, Pam and I have no complaints about being incorporated. We still live about thirty miles from downtown, in the country part of a big city, on the edge of the most populous county in the state, but surrounded by open fields and wooded areas, where wild geese fly low over head unhindered, where deer roam freely, where we have seen coyotes, owls, red hawks, roadrunners and even eagles, and where raccoons, skunks and possums do their own thing on our back porch with apparent impunity.

And it's OK. It could be worse.