Wittle Gway Wabbits

I am not as concerned about the rabbits in the garden as I am about the deer and raccoons – and birds, and turkey vultures, and hawks, and coyotes, and possums, and skunks, and potato bugs, and termites, and squirrels, and moles, and gophers, and snakes. In fact, it is safe to declare that the rabbits are by far the least of my problems.

But, the furry little creatures have found ways of getting into my fenced-in garden. I’ve tried to plug all the holes in the fence, but they keep getting in there. I don’t think they’re intelligent enough to physically open the gate – and I don’t think they are big enough to do so. But, somehow, they get in, as evidenced by the little teeth marks they leave behind on the low hanging tomatoes and other veggies. It just galls me to see these little nibble marks – it wouldn’t bother me so much if they would eat up an entire tomato or cucumber instead of going from plant to plant test-tasting like an AARP member at a buffet.

A few nights ago, Nana Pam and I were finishing up our evening chores and came upon Bailey da Hound Dawg reclining in the grass. In the dwindling light, we noticed that he was unduly interested in a grayish-brown blob, which turned out to be a wittle gway wabbit, thoroughly chewed and covered with dog slobbers and quite dead, apparently a victim of Bailey’s over-exuberant style of playfulness. How he caught the animal is beyond my comprehension – he must have used a trap, because even though he’s pretty fast, I really don’t believe he’s fast enough to catch a wabbit.

I fully expected Nana Pam’s reaction to be one of horror, filled with tears and remorse and a desire to take the carcass to the emergency veterinarian in the remote chance that there might be some miracle cure for the near-decapitation that Bailey had inflicted. But, I guess living in the country has changed Nana Pam a bit more than I thought it would. After her initial surprise, she scolded Bailey with the words, “Bailey, that’s gross. At least drag it into the woods and bury it, for pete’s sake. No cookie for you.”

(Note: Whenever Bailey does something that Nana Pam likes, she gives him dog biscuit, which she calls a “cookie”. He gets a “cookie” for delivering the newspaper intact to the porch, for not terrorizing the chickens, for pooping in the north field instead of next to the car, for not digging in the flower gardens, and for leaving Petey the Weiner Dog alone. Under these criteria, Bailey really doesn’t deserve many “cookies”, but Nana Pam gives him some anyway.)

Needless to say, Bailey ignored Nana Pam and did not drag the wittle gway wabbit carcass into the woods, nor did he bury it. So, Nana Pam continued with her chores and gave me an additional chore, namely, to “get rid of that.”

Have you ever read Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men”? If you haven’t, read it sometime, or see the movie with John Malkovich and Gary Sinise. It’s a good story. And it will give you some idea of the relationship I share with Bailey da Hound Dawg. And it will serve as a reminder to you to guard yourself against Bailey’s playfulness upon your visit to the farmage. The end of the story also explains just why Bailey may “disappear” after a particularly frustrating day of mayhem.